In Emptiness’s Wake
Last month, the world lost a wonderful advocate. Tim Russert’s death came as a deep blow to many of us. As is always the case with death, those left in its wake feel a void that, while only temporarily unbearable, pulls at our very essence. In such instances, we are left to stare down immense unfairness, and must attempt to reconcile ourselves with the eventual finality of death as contrasted to our finite time in this world. Often, we see in this only sadness. But occasionally, we can find in the depths of tragedy a passage out of the darkness, a lesson that we might not have learned otherwise. Too often we rationalize the terrible things that happen because of the wisdom they impart on us. But it is simply the natural course of things. It is a means of survival embedded in each of us when faced with such sadness to find some light in even the darkest of passages. Maybe that’s why I’ve decided to continue writing.
After moving back to Delaware from Baltimore and starting a new job, I haven’t found much time to keep up with the news and write about it. I’ve been lost in the everyday 9-5 shuffle that I once swore to defy. I was at work when my father’s text message found me. “Tim Russert died of a heart attack.” I turned to my co-worker in shock. The image burned into my mind that entire afternoon was the picture I had placed on my post when I claimed that Tim Russert had won the Ohio Democratic Presidential debate. He smiled with an “I know something you don’t know” grin, but not in a shrewd way. The undertone was not smug or selfish, rather it was more along the lines of “I know something you don’t know, but don’t worry; I’ll show you.”
I could never hope to be a Tim Russert, but his pursuit of the truth sans decor has revealed to me the ideals for which I hope to strive. One of the most powerful phrases I have ever encountered came in the form of the motto of my alma mater, Johns Hopkins: Veritas vos liberabit. The truth will set you free. It is in the pure, unadulterated truth, that we can honestly perceive and understand the world around us. The pursuit of this lofty goal can take many forms. At Hopkins, the truth was sought in an academic sense, as we analyzed and judged theories and explanations, from scientific canon to lines of political thought; no idea was sacrosanct. And so it is in finding the truth. Lies, falsities, deceptions, and perversions must first be weeded out. It is not an easy task, nor is it entirely fulfilling. Holding to the ideal of truth can often mean having to abandon previous ways of thinking, ideas that we once held as truths. But the thought of being able to shed all of our blinding preconceptions and find that which is pure, that which is right, that which is true — that is the hope to which we cling.
Yet here we are, in a world where we not only ignore the truth, but we bury it beneath layers of dirt, masking it in rhetoric and heuristics. In such a place it becomes easy to rely on the day to day continuity rather than to observe and analyze each moment in itself, each piece of time, each action, each particularity. Part A only exists to precede Part B, and Part B to follow Part A. Rarely do we look beyond simple causal connections and see each part for itself, for what it is, and what it is not. But the truth is not a shortcut. It relates to the essence of every material and immaterial thing we can perceive or imagine. It is that which is all around us, yet nearly impossible to find. We will not come across the truth by passively observing our world. We will only find it through hard work and persistence in peeling back layer by layer.
While our very nature may seek the shortcuts that deceive us, there is yet a saving attribute of humanity. It is the inability to accept the rigidness that seems to exist all around us. Laws of conservation tell us that no matter or energy may simply be created or destroyed. Nothing can be born of itself. But, as we’ve seen in The Dow Chemical Company’s commercials, when we add the human element to the equation, things look different. Elasticity is introduced. In our search for the truth, we find a fluidity that lends itself to the organic nature of our existence. Suddenly, something can exist from nothing, as, to be cliche for a moment, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. So it is in the vast emptiness we encounter when facing tragedies. Maybe it is simply due to our lack of understanding, but human nature will not let us accept the existence of nothingness. And so we take it upon ourselves to fill the void as best we can, never to replace the missing piece, but instead to honor it.
It is in the wake of emptiness where true fulfillment occurs. It is in the vacuum of space and time where the fire of humanity is kept aflame by a tiny spark of stubbornness, quietly and almost laughably defying the universe, refusing to be snuffed out. The task we face as a people, as a species, as a family inhabiting a pale blue dot, is to balance that spark of defiance with the open mindedness needed to effectively pursue the truth. For what we encounter “out there” will reveal to us more about ourselves, and what we find inside is a testament to the beauty that has preceded us and cultivated us. We are the world. The hydrogen atoms bonded to the oxygen in the water in my body look the same as the hydrogen atoms in a star billions of light years from here, now dying, but whose birth, because of the immense distance between it and us, we are just witnessing. And so the truth relates to us, just as we are a testament to the truth. It is an internal, as well as an external pursuit.
That’s a lot to take in. And suddenly the task we’re charged with seems impossibly large, unable to be delegated to a day’s work, or even a lifetime. As individuals, we may never find perfection, but to realize truth as the pursuit of humanity may be as close as we come. I would argue that to fill nothing with something is the essence of humanity. We are builders. Our very existence and self-awareness shows the complexity of what Descartes called “dualism,” and we are left pondering the universe and our place within it. We are wonderers. Our long search for truth and goodness has guided so many of our actions. We are seekers. Builders, wonderers, seekers. That is what we as a human race are. So we can say that Tim Russert, in his musings, questions, observations, friendships, and work grasped the very essence of humanity. His passing has inspired others to pick up the flag that stands for all we do as a people, and continue on. That is why you are reading this. That is why I wrote it.
